Finding Value in Knowing

candid photography of two female hugging
Photo by Zun Zun on

All of us want to be valued.

There’s a little portion in all of us asking, “Do you see me? Am I important to you?”

When we’re kids, being valued should be part and parcel of maturing into emotionally healthy people. But, of course, the world’s not perfect.

Sometimes we receive the validation we’re looking for. Someone at work recognizes our long hours and attention to detail on a project and we get some praise. We may get an ambush hug from one of our kids or close family and friends, the kind of hug without words and all meaning.

When we do get what we’re looking for, we get this sense of validation which feels great. But, honestly, how many times a day or week do we get this kind of credit? Some of us can go for months or years without feeling valued.

And this can be a big problem.

Without this sense of value, we can become less than who we are.

I’ve heard some wisdom that says, “Feelings aren’t fact.” This is true. Feelings are real, but they’re not necessarily true.  If I feel undervalued at work or home, does that mean I’m not of value as a person? If my kids don’t hug me, I may feel unloved, but really, does this mean I’m not loved and valued as a father?

Feelings are powerful. We can get overwhelmed with a sense of not being valued and sink like a stone in a cold pond. One of the only defenses for our feelings is knowledge.

My current profession is a police officer. Under 830.1 PC I have the authority to detain and investigate criminal activity. Does this mean every person I contact responds in a polite fashion and respects the authority I carry? HA! Of course not. Can you imagine if I get my feelings hurt every time someone disrespects me? Feelings of value and appreciation aren’t a consideration when I’m working. Instead, I carry the knowledge of who I am. This is practicing knowing against feeling. The State of California gave me the authority and duty, I know this as fact.

How can we use this in our daily lives?

It’s important to remember who I am in Christ, because let’s face it, if I’m waiting to feel good about who I am as a person, I may be waiting a while.

“in Christ you have been brought to fullness.”-Colossians 2:10

This says I am complete in Christ. I am a completed jigsaw puzzle, there’s nothing amiss about me and I can sleep well at night knowing in Him I’m good to go. I’m a completed bag of treasure to him, with everything accounted for.  

Maybe I may not feel loved by someone, but I know I’m loved by Christ 24/7. I may not feel valued at work, but I know God is pleased with what I’ve been given to do.

Throughout the week, I may run into situations which challenge my sense of value. If you’re like me, we’re going to get our knees skinned when we don’t receive the validation we looking for.  But if I set aside my hurt feelings, I can remember who I am. Using the knowledge God offers can strengthen and encourage us. Or we can have a pity party about our feelings (which we do occasionally).

What are some of your favorite bible verses which speak directly to who you are in Christ?

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